It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

Linking Words

modernized

Use the right word

modernised

show examples

era,

people

Use synonyms

say that it is more crucial to use public finance to promote a healthy lifestyle to get away from illness and

disease

Use synonyms

rather

Punctuation problem

, rather

show examples

than to use it for curing illness . In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

To begin

Linking Words

with, I have to agree that encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to have a better lifestyle is very vital. There are many diseases that are the result of bad

habits

Use synonyms

and unhealthy lifestyles, so having a good lifestyle is the cure for these diseases.

For example

Linking Words

, obesity partly comes from bad

habits

Use synonyms

, so educating

people

Use synonyms

about the drawbacks of it and encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to do more

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

can help

Verb problem

apply

show examples

reduce the number of

people

Use synonyms

who have obesity.

Besides

Linking Words

, preventing the

disease

Use synonyms

is much cheaper than curing it. Many measures which are taken to help

people

Use synonyms

stay away from

ailment

Fix the agreement mistake

ailments

show examples

can

make

Verb problem

lead to

show examples

big

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

decline in the number of patients

Punctuation problem

, leading

show examples

leading

Verb problem

resulting

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

reduction

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

Check wording

apply

show examples

COVID-19

Correct article usage

the COVID-19

show examples

pandemic

the

Punctuation problem

, the

show examples

government has invested most

for

Change preposition

show examples

the development of

vaccine

Correct article usage

a vaccine

show examples

instead

Linking Words

invest

Wrong verb form

investing

show examples

in the treatment.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I have to deny that concentrating on preventing

disease

Use synonyms

is a good idea. Aside from raising

people

Use synonyms

awareness

Punctuation problem

awareness,

show examples

the authorities should

also

Linking Words

put effort

Change preposition

into

show examples

the curing process of patients. The biggest reason is that some sicknesses can not be prevented, especially some diseases like cancer, so focusing on the treatment is

compulsory

Punctuation problem

compulsory,

show examples

even if

people

Use synonyms

have bad or good

habits

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

acquire healthy

habits

Use synonyms

but still have some

disease

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their age

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as backache

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

that focusing on the therapy is crucial

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

Linking Words

also it can

Correct word order

it can also

show examples

contribute to the medical industry. In conclusion, I have to disagree that focusing on avoiding

disease

Use synonyms

and forgetting about curing is a good idea

due to

Linking Words

many factors

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

therapy is still the most important thing for the headmasters to invest in.

document.hanie

Jul 18, 2025

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task achievement

Your thesis statement could be clearer. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to show the main idea. This will help with organization.

task achievement

Add more examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical errors and typos, like 'm' instead of 'in'.

task achievement

You raised important points about prevention and treatment, which shows good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
chronic diseases
healthcare costs
public health campaigns
lifestyle-related illnesses
quality of life
health-conscious society
allocate funds
balanced healthcare system
comprehensive healthcare strategy

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