Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

In
this
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modern and developed society,
while
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some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s
development
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these days are things
such
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as television, friends and music, others have an argument that the family still remains more important. On the one hand, it has become popular that
children
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today
much
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are much
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mỏe exposed to external influences like social media, friends or music
which
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, which
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could have impacts on their growth.
Due to
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the advances of technology, getting access to the global internet has been a lot easier, which promotes
children
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’s
development
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in
term
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terms
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of knowledge and consciousness.
Furthermore
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, engagement in
out side
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outside
show examples
activities and
relationship
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relationships
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will help them not only to stay well-being in their childhood but
also
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to establish independence in later
lives
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life
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since they are free to choose what they desire.
However
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, in some cases,
children
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can be spoiled by factors related to the immediate living environment or toxic relationships since they often lack the foundation of education to identify falsehood and
trueness
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truth
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.
On the other hand
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, family plays an important role in
Correct article usage
the developing
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developing
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development
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of
children
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’s mental and physical health. Family plays a crucial role in
foresting
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fostering
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language skills in
children
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.
Parents
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can help their
children
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enlace
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learn
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both non-verbal and verbal languages through talking to them on a daily basis, explaining difficult words or encouraging them to speak more
and
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, and
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it is a good way to improve their language naturally.
Besides
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, family
also
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teach them communication skills and
make
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makes
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children
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to be
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apply
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moer
Correct your spelling
more
confident. It is helpful for
children
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to make friends at school and support
in
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them in
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their jobs in the future.
In addition
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,
parents
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help
children
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to have a balanced diet and encourage them to play sports
which
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, which
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is affect
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affects
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to
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apply
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their physical strength
development
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. In conclusion,
foundation
Correct article usage
the foundation
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of a child is its
parents
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who
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, who
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are its first teachers
and
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, and
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parents
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also
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provide everything like
eduction
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education
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, food and drink or entertainment for
children
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to have a
fully
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full
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development
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.
In
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From
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my perspective, family contribute an enormous part.

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coherence
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on it. Link your ideas clearly.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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