IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically beneficial. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, many foods are shipped from far away
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some think that eating local
food
Use synonyms
 is more environmentally and economically beneficial. In my opinion, I partly agree. On the one hand, buying
food
Use synonyms
 from far distances can cause many drawbacks to the environment. In order to transfer those groceries, we need a large amount of material
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will produce a large amount of waste
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the atmosphere will be polluted.
For example
Linking Words
, to send or receive various
food
Use synonyms
 products, it is necessary to transport them by air, water, or road, which releases greenhouse gases and causes air pollution. Those transfer methods require a large amount of money because
import
Replace the word
imported
show examples
 goods are often more expensive compared to domestic goods because the government applies more tax to recover the transfer cost.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, doing
this
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 have advantages. Immigrants can have all of the ingredients
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which are extremely important to them. Nowadays, a high rate of population immigrates from one country to another
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they truly want to have all of the
food
Use synonyms
 products they use in their country
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they will be very happy when they have them.
Besides
Linking Words
, the citizens in other states have many choices.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada, the customers have a lot of choices to choose from and try many different products because
this
Linking Words
 country
is importing
Wrong verb form
imports
show examples
 goods from other countries, so the citizens have a fulfilling feeling. In conclusion, above is my opinion about the statement that many foods are shipped from far away
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some think that eating local
food
Use synonyms
 is more environmentally and economically beneficial. In my opinion, I partly agree.

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task achievement
Work on providing clearer examples for your points to strengthen your argument.
coherence
Make sure your ideas are linked more smoothly to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence
Try to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion so it's easy to see where you stand.
task achievement
You offered different viewpoints which is a good approach.
coherence
Your introduction provided a good overview of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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