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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habitats in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habitats in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the proportions for the consumption of tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 by the population across five Australian
countries
Check wording
cities
show examples
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be concluded from the chart that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the figures for people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks are higher than
others
Punctuation problem
others,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 reverse is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
true for ones who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. The consumption of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 was inconsistent. Looking into the details, Melbourne reached at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peak
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
 for around 63% in terms of
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was consumed in a cafe.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figures for
this
Linking Words
 decreased dramatically in Adelaide at around just under 50 % which was equal
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 proportion
instant
Change preposition
of instant
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a tiny percentage
1
Change preposition
of 1
show examples
%. The patterns for Hobart and Sydney showed a
smiliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 trend, constituting just
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
 than 50%. Turning to the remaining countries, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the least
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 among all the
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
,
mading
Correct your spelling
making
 up below around 44% of the total.Brisbane and Adelaide saw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 relatively similar
, with
Check wording
result, with
show examples
 a just
arounfd
Correct your spelling
around
 2 %
diffference
Correct your spelling
difference
. The figures for instant
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated over the given chart, reaching only approximately 55% as the highest of its own in Hobart.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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