IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

【C19T4】 In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years,the trend of consumers
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
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 and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 that
produced
Verb problem
is produced
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 all over the
world
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly noticeable across a wide range of societies.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
development
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 may bring certain drawbacks, I believe that
this
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 is generally a positive
development
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. It is true that buying
food
Use synonyms
 from all over the
world
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 may give rise to several challenges.One commonly mentioned concern is that it could lead to a higher price than
locial ood
Correct your spelling
local food
 because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 need to deliver to their country by transport,which may
coast
Use the right word
cost
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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 amount of money,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will
react in
Verb problem
finally affect
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 the market price
Rephrase
apply
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finally
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.
This
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 is supported by many
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
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 who always
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
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 items in
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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,which revealed that 65 % of respondents believed
this
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development
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 is strongly associated with the production address.Another major concern associated with
this
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 trend is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
food
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 produced
from
Change preposition
in
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 other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 may not suit
for
Change preposition
apply
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locial
Correct your spelling
local
 people’s intestines and stomach,particularly in
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
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 where the
instestines
Correct your spelling
intestines
 and stomach system that not very strong.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 many Chinese individuals are not accustomed to eating Indian
food
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. After eating them, they may experience physical discomfort.These potential risks suggest that
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
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 is not entirely free of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and deserves careful attention. Despite these concerns,I would argue that the
overall
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 impact of
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
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 is highly beneficial to modern society.One major advantage is that it reflects
Correct article usage
a
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human community with a shared future,which is becoming increasingly important in today’s dynamic
world
Use synonyms
.It
also
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 creates opportunities for individuals to taste various
Use synonyms
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 from different countries,which can enhance people's sense of happiness in their daily lives.
For example
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,many of my friends who have chosen to buy
abroad
Correct word order
food abroad
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food
Use synonyms
 have experienced
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 their diet habits
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as many of them
don’t
Wrong verb form
didn’t
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 enjoy eating fruit before
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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,after they
taste
Wrong verb form
tasted
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 the fruit
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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deliver
Wrong verb form
delivered
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 from Peru,they
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
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 a good habit
to eat
Change preposition
of eating
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 fruit,highlighting its practical benefits in everyday life.
Moreover
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,
this
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development
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 can stimulate economic
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
,leading to
Correct article usage
an enhance
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enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
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residents
Check wording
apply
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life level and increased diversity in
choosing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
choices.
show examples
As long as the transition is managed responsibly,the positive outcomes are likely to outweigh the negatives in the long term. In conclusion,
although
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buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 has downsides in certain cases,I believe that
import buy
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 is a positive shift for society as it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 substantial advantages.

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Consider adding a thesis statement that sums up your opinion more strongly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use correct spelling and grammar to improve clarity. For example, 'locial' should be 'local'.
Task Response
Your points are relevant but could be more developed. Try to explain your ideas in more detail, especially in the body paragraphs.
Task Response
You have a clear opinion on the topic, stating that it is a positive development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your example about friends improving their diet is a good personal touch that makes your argument relatable.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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