IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

【C19T4】 In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years,the trend of consumers
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 and
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 that
produced
Verb problem
is produced
show examples
 all over the
world
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly noticeable across a wide range of societies.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 may bring certain drawbacks, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is generally a positive
development
Use synonyms
. It is true that buying
food
Use synonyms
 from all over the
world
Use synonyms
 may give rise to several challenges.One commonly mentioned concern is that it could lead to a higher price than
locial ood
Correct your spelling
local food
 because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need to deliver to their country by transport,which may
coast
Use the right word
cost
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of money,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will
react in
Verb problem
finally affect
show examples
 the market price
Rephrase
apply
show examples
finally
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 is supported by many
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
show examples
 who always
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 items in
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
,which revealed that 65 % of respondents believed
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 is strongly associated with the production address.Another major concern associated with
this
Linking Words
 trend is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 may not suit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
locial
Correct your spelling
local
 people’s intestines and stomach,particularly in
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 where the
instestines
Correct your spelling
intestines
 and stomach system that not very strong.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 many Chinese individuals are not accustomed to eating Indian
food
Use synonyms
. After eating them, they may experience physical discomfort.These potential risks suggest that
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 is not entirely free of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and deserves careful attention. Despite these concerns,I would argue that the
overall
Linking Words
 impact of
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 is highly beneficial to modern society.One major advantage is that it reflects
Correct article usage
a
show examples
human community with a shared future,which is becoming increasingly important in today’s dynamic
world
Use synonyms
.It
also
Linking Words
 creates opportunities for individuals to taste various
Use synonyms
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 from different countries,which can enhance people's sense of happiness in their daily lives.
For example
Linking Words
,many of my friends who have chosen to buy
abroad
Correct word order
food abroad
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 have experienced
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their diet habits
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as many of them
don’t
Wrong verb form
didn’t
show examples
 enjoy eating fruit before
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
,after they
taste
Wrong verb form
tasted
show examples
 the fruit
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivered
show examples
 from Peru,they
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 a good habit
to eat
Change preposition
of eating
show examples
 fruit,highlighting its practical benefits in everyday life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 can stimulate economic
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
,leading to
Correct article usage
an enhance
show examples
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
residents
Check wording
apply
show examples
life level and increased diversity in
choosing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
choices.
show examples
As long as the transition is managed responsibly,the positive outcomes are likely to outweigh the negatives in the long term. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 has downsides in certain cases,I believe that
import buy
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 is a positive shift for society as it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 substantial advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Consider adding a thesis statement that sums up your opinion more strongly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use correct spelling and grammar to improve clarity. For example, 'locial' should be 'local'.
Task Response
Your points are relevant but could be more developed. Try to explain your ideas in more detail, especially in the body paragraphs.
Task Response
You have a clear opinion on the topic, stating that it is a positive development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your example about friends improving their diet is a good personal touch that makes your argument relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: