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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital of adults Americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting snd reporting the main features, and majke comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about USA marriage and divorce rates between 1970 and 2000, and the marital of adults Americans in two of the years. Summarise the information by selecting snd reporting the main features, and majke comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates
amount
Check wording
the number
show examples
 of marriages and divorces in the
USA
Use synonyms
 and the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of marital
status
Use synonyms
 of adult
Americans
Use synonyms
 between 1970 and 2000. It can be seen that the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of marriages in the
USA
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained stable at 2.5
million
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1980
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the lowest dropped
2
Change preposition
to 2
show examples
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Compared to the divorce in the
USA
Use synonyms
 had fluctuated slightly
sine
Use the right word
since
show examples
 1970,
started
Correct pronoun usage
it started
show examples
decrease
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
 from 1
million
Use synonyms
 but peaked at 1.4
million
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1980.
In addition
Linking Words
, the divorce
declined
Check wording
rate declined
show examples
 by 1.2
million
Use synonyms
 and 1
million
Use synonyms
, respectively
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2000.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of marital
status
Use synonyms
 of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Americans
Replace the word
America
show examples
the
Verb problem
shows the
show examples
 highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 show 70 % in 1970 and 60 % in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 with married
status
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 never
married
Use the right word
never-married
show examples
status
Use synonyms
 had 15 % in 1970 and 20 % in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the divorced
status
Use synonyms
 in 1970 show at 3 % and in 2000 show 9%. In conclusion, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of marriages in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and the
proportion
Use synonyms
married
Change preposition
of married
show examples
Use synonyms
status
Check wording
individuals
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Americans
Check wording
the USA
show examples
 between 1970 and 2000
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 greater than the divorces in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Americans
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, proportion, status, americans, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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