IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart compares
people
Use synonyms
's ideal body
weight
Use synonyms
 who live in Charlestown in the period
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1955 and 2015.
Ovarall
Correct your spelling
Overall
, the assessment figure presents the
distubation
Correct your spelling
disturbance
 of
weight
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 of
Charlestwon
Correct your spelling
Charleston
, and
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most of the citizens
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
 ratio IN 1955.
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 in 2015
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 ranked in
obese
Correct article usage
the obese
show examples
 range,
espeially
Correct your spelling
especially
people
Use synonyms
 above 50 years old.
It is clear that
Linking Words
weight
Use synonyms
 assessment in 1955 presents the highest range in ideal and underweight
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 almost 95 per cent of
sample
Correct article usage
the sample
show examples
 size .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the increase in obesity is low in old
people
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to 2015, which the
precenage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 increase relatively with age .
However
Linking Words
, in 2015, the data
showes
Correct your spelling
showed
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 ideal body
weight
Use synonyms
along side
Use the right word
alongside
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being older.
For example
Linking Words
, the ideal range for 20 years
old
Correct your spelling
20-year-old
 is 80%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
opimal
Correct your spelling
optimal
weight
Use synonyms
shrnked
Correct your spelling
shrunk
 to 10 % with 60 years
old
Correct your spelling
60-year-old
. Most of
sample
Correct article usage
the sample
show examples
 size in 2015
classified
Verb problem
was classified
show examples
 as overweight or obese.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, weight with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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