IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people belive that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that importing movies or TV shows from other countries is a good idea for
a
Correct article usage
the
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culture
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 of a
country
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe making
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 locally is
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 option. In my point of view,
despite
Change preposition
although
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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both
ideas
Use synonyms
 have
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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pros and cons, bringing new cultures and
ideas
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 via cinema is beneficial for the
country
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. It cannot be denied that movies have a huge power
of influencing
Change preposition
to influence
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people
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 and
changing
Wrong verb form
change
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 their minds. I believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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this
Linking Words
 influence can extend the
horizion
Correct your spelling
horizon
 of individuals and enhance their way of thinking.
Therefore
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, there can be some effects of
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culture
Correct article usage
the culture
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 of a
country
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 in a positive way. Especially, open
minded
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open-minded
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 young generation can compare some points via
tv
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TV
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 shows and
criticize
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criticise
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to
Change preposition
apply
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their
Change the pronoun
the
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 wrong implementation of their own
culture
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 and
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 come changes
into
Change preposition
in
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 their home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that local productions are
more safe
Correct word choice
safer
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 for the
culture
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 of a
country
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. The
people
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 who adhere strictly to their own cultures and rules see the cinema as a threat. Despite the benefit of local production of
tv
Use the right word
TV
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programms
Correct your spelling
programs
 and films, the idea of preventing from
entering
Replace the word
entry
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new
Change preposition
of new
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ideas
Use synonyms
 into the
country
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 is
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 way to express it. In conclusion, I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of importing the new
ideas
Use synonyms
 via
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
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 sector
overweighed
Verb problem
outweigh
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negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts of the
contries'
Correct your spelling
countries'
culture
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay has clear topic sentences for each paragraph and link your ideas smoothly. This helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and show you understand the topic better.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be more engaging. Consider starting with a strong statement or question to capture the reader's attention.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and your conclusion reflects it.
task achievement
You made good points about the influence of movies on culture, showing you have thought about both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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