The world has changed, including how parents treat their children . Parents want their children to have high grades so they put too much pressure on them . This essay will examine what are the reasons and is it a positive thing to do or a negative thing to do

The world has changed, including how

parents

Use synonyms

treat their

children

Use synonyms

Parents

Use synonyms

want their

children

Use synonyms

to have high

grades

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

they put too much

pressure

Use synonyms

on them .

This

Linking Words

essay will examine what are the reasons and

Correct word choice

whether is

show examples

is it

Correct word order

it is

show examples

a positive thing to do or a negative thing to do . There are multiple reasons why

parents

Use synonyms

put too much

pressure

Use synonyms

on their

children

Use synonyms

to get high

grades

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

want their

children

Use synonyms

always to

Correct word order

to always

show examples

be perfect.

Also

Linking Words

, they like their

kids

Use synonyms

to be better than everyone else all the time.

Moreover

Linking Words

,Mothers and Fathers love to see them be very successful in their lives.

Second,

Linking Words

they really want their

kids

Use synonyms

to have a much better future.On top of

this

Linking Words

, they love them to have the best chances.

Also

Linking Words

, they want them

get

Verb problem

to get

show examples

into the best colleges.

Third,

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

want their

kids

Use synonyms

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better person of themselves.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, Mothers and Fathers love to see their

children

Use synonyms

have the best jobs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they don’t want them to need anybody and be independent.

However

Linking Words

, when

parents

Use synonyms

put too much

pressure

Use synonyms

on their

children

Use synonyms

to get high

Use synonyms

grades

Punctuation problem

grades,

show examples

it’s a negative action .First,when

parents

Use synonyms

put

pressure

Use synonyms

them

Punctuation problem

them,

show examples

they will feel

supper

Use the right word

super

show examples

tired.

Also

Linking Words

,many

children

Use synonyms

feel so sad when they study.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a number of

kids

Use synonyms

feel sick because they don’t eat enough.

Second,

Linking Words

they spend most of their time studying very hard.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they have no friends because they have no time to make friends.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, they will hate school so much and their

parents

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

They

Fix capitalization

they

show examples

will put themselves in a

comparisons

Fix the agreement mistake

comparison

show examples

with the other

kids

Use synonyms

.On top of

this

Linking Words

,they will be jealous of anyone

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

has higher

grades

Use synonyms

than

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

Verb problem

do.

show examples

In conclusion, it is clear to see that putting too much

pressure

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

is a negative thing to do.

alfred

Jul 19, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states the topic. However, it can be stronger by clearly stating your main opinion about pressure on children.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, use 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to structure your points clearly.

task achievement

Try to give specific examples or stories to support your points. This will make your arguments clearer and more interesting.

task achievement

You present good reasons for why parents put pressure on their children. This shows you understand the topic well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your main idea, which is good for closing your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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The world has changed, including how parents treat their children . Parents want their children to have high grades so they put too much pressure on them . This essay will examine what are the reasons and is it a positive thing to do or a negative thing to do

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Providing Internet access is just as important as other services, such as building roads, so governments should offer Internet access to all of their citizens at no cost.

You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: •explain the situation •tell him/her how you are effected by this •Suggest what you want the landlord to do.

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Write a letter to a bus company about something you lost on a bus. In your letter - Give details of your bus trip - Tell them what you lost - Explain what you'd like them to do.