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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Analyzing
Use the right word
Analysing
show examples
 the information here reveals a lot of points . The chart below
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 three types of police reports from the city of
Use synonyms
johnstown
Fix capitalization
Johnstown
show examples
 in 2016 ,
along with
Linking Words
Use synonyms
johnstown
Use the right word
Johnstown's
show examples
 average monthly temperature . It is surprising to notice that there is a sharp rise in
charts
Correct article usage
the charts
show examples
 below . Here , a reader can deduce that there is a difference between traffic violations in all months . It is clearly seen that there is a fast increase in
charts
Correct article usage
the charts
show examples
below
Punctuation problem
below,
show examples
 as the chart shows .
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 we can see a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in July . And we can see a decrease in October .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , if we hold a comparison with shows three types of police reports from the city of
Use synonyms
johnstown
Fix capitalization
Johnstown
show examples
 in 2016 ,
along with
Linking Words
Use synonyms
johnstown
Use the right word
Johnstown's
show examples
average monthly temperature , we can conclude that there is a big difference between them . The highest in traffic violations is in mar , and the lowest is in
sept
Check wording
September
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words johnstown with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • data representation
  • crime rate
  • monthly variations
  • correlation
  • theft
  • vandalism
  • assault
  • seasonal trends
  • temperature fluctuations
  • peak
  • decline
  • law enforcement
  • civil disorder
  • statistical analysis
  • public safety
  • climatic influence
  • incidence rate
  • aggregate data
  • preventative measures
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