IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the weight calculation of
people
Use synonyms
 of all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in Charlestown in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1995 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there is consistency
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 being ideal in all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 and it
changed
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
no
Rephrase
not
show examples
 much difference in
obesity
Use synonyms
, but it
canged
Correct your spelling
changed
, and
also
Linking Words
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. There was
also
Linking Words
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in
underweight
Correct article usage
the underweight
show examples
 category of all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. In the year 1955, there was no
obesity
Use synonyms
 in
20
Correct article usage
the 20
show examples
 to 29
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and 30 to 39
age
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
, and above
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
geoup
Correct your spelling
group
has little
Wrong verb form
had a low
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
 percentage of 5% in
40
Correct article usage
the 40
show examples
 to 49, and 10% in
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
 to 59. There was a constant ideal weight among almost all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
around
Punctuation problem
, around
show examples
 50% or above. The underweight
people
Use synonyms
 graph had some fluctuation
around
Punctuation problem
, around
show examples
 10% to 40%. In the year 2015, there was
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 increase
Use synonyms
obesity
Change preposition
in obesity
show examples
, and it went up
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the 20 to 29
people
Use synonyms
 about 3% to 60% in
60
Correct article usage
the 60
show examples
 to 69
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the ideal weight went
doen
Correct your spelling
down
 with the 70% in
20
Correct article usage
the 20
show examples
 to 29 and 5% in
60
Correct article usage
the 60
show examples
 to 69
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, group, obesity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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