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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 by their age who gave money to charity organisations in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the type of generation
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 mostly
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charities changed during the entire period.
However
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the youngs
show examples
youngs
Use the right word
young
show examples
 show
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 in both
years
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 between 18 and 50
ages
Check wording
apply
show examples
started to give less help to charities compared to
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation during the
last
Linking Words
 20
years
Use synonyms
. The majority
if
Use the right word
of
show examples
 help
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 by adults
from
Verb problem
was from
show examples
 36 to 50 in 1990, but it changed in 2010.
Youngs
Use the right word
Young
show examples
who
Check wording
people who
show examples
 are between 18 and 25
ages is
Wrong verb form
years old were
show examples
gived
Correct your spelling
given
 less money in 2010 compared to 1990, and it decreased
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
whos'
Check wording
whos
show examples
age
Use the right word
are
show examples
 26-35 and 36-50
also
Linking Words
 declined, but just to approximately 5% in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, adults who are older
50
Correct word choice
than 50
show examples
 and younger
65
Change preposition
than 65
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 started to give more money in 2010, so their number
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 from 35% to almost
two-third
Use the right word
two-thirds
show examples
percent
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was the highest group of
people
Use synonyms
 who helped
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year,
although
Linking Words
 it was in second place 20
years
Use synonyms
 ago. Despite the fact that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from 36 to 50
years
Use synonyms
 was more than who older
65
Change preposition
than 65
show examples
, in 2010 they
staied
Correct your spelling
stayed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 point, and showed 35%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last, moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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