in spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

In the

last

Linking Words

century, we achieved a great progress in medical and tried to improve the reaching to the patients, and the way we discovered was by making speed car and helicopter to access to the patient more quickly, and in spite of all of

this

Linking Words

advanced tech and progress, their still so many cases of

people

Use synonyms

who can be saved easily, but we couldn't and the reasons for

that is

Linking Words

, the lack of access to hospital, the remote areas, the slow response, etc.. , but their is still a hope, and

this

Linking Words

light is to make a smaller unit of

doctors

Use synonyms

spread across the world, and preventing

people

Use synonyms

from going to isolated areas, awareness on how to use a first aid, and if we achieve that we willl be able to see a huge results. One of

Linking Words

this outcome

Fix the agreement mistake

these outcomes

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

can be seen in

africa

Fix capitalization

Africa

show examples

Punctuation problem

show examples

exactly in

nigeria

Fix capitalization

Nigeria

show examples

, a kid

drown

Wrong verb form

drowned

show examples

in a

river

Punctuation problem

river,

show examples

then

Linking Words

one of the nearby

doctors

Use synonyms

who heard the call

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

was able to save the child and

rescued

Wrong verb form

rescue

show examples

him, and that just

show

Correct subject-verb agreement

shows

show examples

you the

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

of the unit

doctors

Use synonyms

. Another accident

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

in a similar circumstance, in

indonesia

Fix capitalization

Indonesia

show examples

Punctuation problem

, a

show examples

competition of racing boats

Punctuation problem

show examples

there

Fix capitalization

There

show examples

was a kid who was drowning in

river

Correct article usage

a river

show examples

that

extend

Correct subject-verb agreement

extends

show examples

to 50m depth, but he was rescued and saved

due to

Linking Words

the speed

respone

Correct your spelling

response

and the

react

Replace the word

reaction

show examples

nears

Use the right word

nearby

show examples

doctors

Use synonyms

In conclusion, we can reduce the number of

people

Use synonyms

who died because of the weak response, by spreading

doctors

Use synonyms

and

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

people

Use synonyms

how to use

first

Correct article usage

a first

show examples

aid package, and if that

happend

Correct your spelling

happened

Change preposition

show examples

anytime time in the future ,

then

Linking Words

we will be able to save

soo

Use the right word

show examples

many

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

myalmrwany9352

Jul 19, 2025

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Make sure to clearly present your ideas in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

Task Achievement

Improve the clarity of your sentences by using simple and correct grammar. Check for errors in spelling and punctuation.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples that directly relate to the main ideas you discuss. This will help make your points stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly states your main points and your conclusion summarizes them clearly.

Task Achievement

You provided some interesting real-life examples that help support your points.

Task Achievement

You show awareness of the issue and passion for finding solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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in spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activities of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In nearly all science course at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What are the reason for this? What can be done to balance out the number?

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. Why is this the cause? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?