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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Govermet should deal with enviourmental problenms and people should support them discuss both view

In recent years, dealing with environmental problems has been one of the major issues in all parts of the world. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
this
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 can be tackled only by the high authorities of the nation,
while
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 others argue that inhabitants should
also
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 take steps to deal with
this
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 , not only the government. In my view , the second statement appears to be more rational. In
this
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 essay, I shall elaborate on both perspectives
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 before reciting my logical inference. To commence with, there are a myriad of reasons associated with why
people
Use synonyms
 think it is out of their hands.
Firstly
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, governments should implement stringent rules and regulations for the welfare of the public.
Moreover
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, only well-enforced
legalisation
Use the right word
legislation
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 can reduce the systematic abuse that causes pollution and harm to biodiversity.
Furthermore
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,
elective
Replace the word
elected
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people
Use synonyms
 not only have more authority to raise the concern, but
also
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 have
audience
Correct article usage
an audience
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 which may react positively to their speeches and words. The
view
Check wording
apply
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viewpoint of the contention states that residents should
also
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 support their ministers to solve the problem. It is
also
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 supported by the wide range of evidence. The cardinal one is that small changes in daily life, like recycling, using less water and driving less, can lead to significant improvements. An even more significant fact is that citizens can push the changes by participating in awareness campaigns and clean-up events.
This
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 can help the government see that
people
Use synonyms
 care about the ecosystem, which can lead to better policies.
To sum up
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, in view of the arguments outlined above, I can infer that both perspectives have their merits and demerits on balance.
Nevertheless
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, I tend to stand by the latter stance owing to the fact that governments are not the only stand-alone solution
,
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;
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 individuals should
also
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 come forward and take initiatives to tackle these problems.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This will help readers understand your view clearly from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader. This will help in making your ideas flow better.
task response
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This can strengthen your argument and enhance clarity.
task response
You presented both views well, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your thoughts and reinforces your opinion on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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