IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Generally, people want to choose
being
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
 rather than
work
Use synonyms
 for a company or organisation.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my point of view, I'll give you the disadvantages of working
self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
.
There're
Use the right word
There are
show examples
 so many solutions if we
work
Use synonyms
 from our home because we would enjoy
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ourselves and even be free
our
Change preposition
from our
show examples
 comfort zone. But
work
Use synonyms
 balance would be destroyed as much as if we prefer
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 from home.
Such
Linking Words
 as, we don'
t
Use synonyms
 feel if it's
work
Use synonyms
 or home, always get distracted the way we
around
Verb problem
are around
show examples
, and even get busier that you can'
t
Use synonyms
 get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
some fresh air.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we get one example, my sister
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 works as a
writer
Punctuation problem
writer,
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 got like an owl. She kept
continuing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
working
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day and night and eventually
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 lost in herself that even I couldn'
t
Use synonyms
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
 it. Because she focused her
work
Use synonyms
 too much and even her husband
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 so annoyed that she couldn'
t
Use synonyms
 deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, her sleep schedule changed. When it
rains
Punctuation problem
rains,
show examples
 it pours. As we
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
, she is one of the
auther
Correct your spelling
authors
 of
Correct article usage
a best-seller
show examples
best-seller
Use the right word
bestseller
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, she has to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think about her
work
Use synonyms
 and gradually she often
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 dozed off in the mornings.
In addition
Linking Words
, her kids
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
complain a lot because of their mom's
work
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 her husband didn'
t
Use synonyms
 hold back any
longer
Punctuation problem
longer,
show examples
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
so
show examples
 he decided to break up with her. To wrap things up, if we
work
Use synonyms
self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
, our lives would be gradually ruined to the point of
cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
show examples
 off the relationship we built together.
Also
Linking Words
, the
work
Use synonyms
 balance could be destroyed even
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
work
Use synonyms
's satisfaction
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main point about being self-employed as a disadvantage.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader on what each paragraph is about.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points in a simpler way.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and simple language to avoid confusion and improve understanding.
relevant specific examples
You discussed real-life examples which help understand your points.
complete response
You addressed the topic of self-employment and its downsides, which was the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • freedom
  • work hours
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • earn money
  • profits
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • responsibility
  • personal growth
  • challenges
  • financial security
  • flexibility
  • independence
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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