Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are conflicting views on whether

children

Use synonyms

should be supported to become competitive or cooperative in order to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsible

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

. I believe that encouraging cooperation among others is more beneficial because it stimulates emotional intelligence, which is very essential in the process of becoming a useful adult. On the one hand, many believe that being competitive is the better option for the issue in question because

children

Use synonyms

growing up with a sense of competition will likely have a strong

mentality

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, most of the athletes have been directed by their parents to join sports clubs and have been trained since an early age to prepare not only the required skills for the sports but

also

Linking Words

to strengthen their mindset. These committed years of training have turned them into unbreakable athletes and

even

Verb problem

have even

show examples

dedicated

Verb problem

won

show examples

many medals for the nation.

However

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view because long-term competitive exposure from an early age will likely harm their

mentality

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the pressure and high expectations to become a winner.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

first ranked

Use the right word

first-ranked

show examples

male badminton player in the world once reported getting mad and crushing his racket when he got defeated

this

Linking Words

year. His aggressive acts

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

hinder

Wrong verb form

hindered

show examples

the healthy competitive

values

Punctuation problem

values,

show examples

showed that his

mentality

Use synonyms

was not strong enough to regulate his behaviour toward the match result he got.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, raising

children

Use synonyms

with cooperative values will shape

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

very good emotional intelligence since they stimulate

children

Use synonyms

’s cognitive development.

For instance

Linking Words

, encouraging students to cooperate in finishing the school projects will not only teach them the school materials but

also

Linking Words

train them to tolerate and respect their peers in the process of finishing the project.

As well as

Linking Words

when joining a competition,

children

Use synonyms

with a cooperative mindset will have

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

emotional condition because they will value the process more than the result

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

Linking Words

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

they tend to accept the outcome and learn from the experiences. By the time they grow up, they will become an assertive person and ready to contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society in a mannered way. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

a highly competitive young person may shape them to have a fighting

mentality

Use synonyms

, I think it is better for the

children

Use synonyms

to be raised with co-operate values, which can increase their emotional intelligence to later become a wiser adult.

nausagi16

Jul 20, 2025

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Task Response

Your introduction is clear, but you could make your position stronger. You could also give a brief summary of what you will discuss in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your paragraphs are mostly clear, but some sentences are a bit long. Try to use shorter sentences to make your ideas easier to follow.

Task Response

You provided good examples, but make sure they are clear and directly related to your points. For instance, explain more why emotional intelligence is important.

Task Response

You have a clear opinion and discuss both views well.

Task Response

Your use of examples is good and makes your points stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

387 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries owing a home is important as compared to renting? Why it so ? Is it beneficial?

some people say that music can bring people of different cultures and ages together. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

You give advice to your friend who is seeking work. Write a letter advising your friend about a job. 1. Tell your friend which job it is 2. Explain why you think it is a suitable job 3. Advice your friend about the application process

Write a letter to your local council that the road in front of your house is damaged. In your letter, you should: • tell him your name and where you are living • describe the problem • suggest what you want him to do for it.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?