Some people believe that preserving traditional culture is no longer necessary in today’s modern world, while others argue that it remains an important part of national identity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. #235

In recent years, many traditional cultures in various regions have gradually disappeared
due to
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rapid modernisation.
This
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has led some people to worry about the impact on national identity, as they believe cultural heritage plays a vital role.
However
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, others believe that upholding tradition is outdated. The following essay will examine these perspectives before giving a personal opinion. On one hand, traditional culture holds a significant role in shaping individual identity and their connection to the nation. By maintaining traditional customs, individuals can better understand their history, values, and cultural roots, all of which contribute to national pride.
Furthermore
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, cultural heritage can be a driver for tourism and economic development. Borobudur Temple is a perfect example, as it allows Indonesia to showcase its cultural legacy globally.
As a result
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, it attracts international tourists and encourages the growth of local businesses, making it one of the country's major sources of income.
On the other hand
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, others consider that prioritising traditional culture does not align with current development. They believe that cultural customs may prevent societies from moving forward, especially when these practices conflict with modern values or technological progress.
For instance
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, certain traditional beliefs discourage women from pursuing higher education and restrict career choices based on outdated gender roles. In
such
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cases,
hold
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holding
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on to tradition can limit individual freedom and slow down national development.
Therefore
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, some people cite that progress should be prioritised over preserving outdated customs. In conclusion,
while
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some argue that maintaining traditional culture hinders societal progress, others believe it promotes national pride and fosters economic well-being. I personally believe that cultural heritage is essential because it provides a foundation for the future, provided it evolves alongside modern values.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. This will improve the overall clarity of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include more linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in smoothly connecting your thoughts.
task achievement
In the conclusion, directly state your opinion more clearly to strengthen your position. This can help reinforce your main argument.
task achievement
You presented a clear discussion of both views on traditional culture, which is essential for this essay type.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like Borobudur Temple, adds depth and support to your argument, making it more convincing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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