IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Even though modern
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 keeps improving by becoming more accessible, efficient and safe, more and more
people
Use synonyms
starting
Verb problem
are starting
show examples
 to prefer
alternative
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
. I am convinced that
this
Linking Words
 trend is harmful for humanity, as any other methods of treating illnesses are baseless and often have negative consequences on
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. First of all,
alternative
Use synonyms
 medical approaches do not have a scientific
foundatin
Correct your spelling
foundation
. They are
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 upon subjective views of "right" and wishful thinking. Individuals can perceive herbal teas as a solution for every
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
, because they associate natural components with life and think
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 a great reason why it will help. In reality, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no researches and
evidences
Fix the agreement mistake
evidence
show examples
 that support that
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
, which means that
people
Use synonyms
 cannot rely on it and have consistent beneficial results.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
alternaive
Correct your spelling
alternative medicine
medecine
Use synonyms
 can be hazardous
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 and financial situation of
people
Use synonyms
. The overestimation of it causes sick
people
Use synonyms
 to not use the real
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 that
proven
Verb problem
has been proven
show examples
 to
be working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 results in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of action towards the illnesses and promotes
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 development. Steve Jobs passed away because of
Correct article usage
a tumor
show examples
tumor
Use the right word
tumour
show examples
 which could
be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 cured by
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
doctor
Check wording
doctor's
show examples
 intervention, but he chose
alternative
Use synonyms
 methods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, healing
this
Linking Words
 way is usually costly
due to
Linking Words
 fraud schemes that make use of the ignorance of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. Families can become
bancrupt
Correct your spelling
bankrupt
 in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
 of healing by "magic".
To sum up
Linking Words
, the increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 in
alternative
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 is a real problem nowadays. It stems from wrong assertions and results in financial
troules
Correct your spelling
troubles
 and health conditions.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your main points. Each paragraph should have a clear focus and develop that idea fully, using clear examples.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words to help your paragraphs flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
language
Check for spelling mistakes and grammar issues, as these can affect how clearly you express your ideas.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.
task achievement
You used a relevant example to support your argument about Steve Jobs, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicine
  • conventional medicine
  • holistic approach
  • personalized care
  • side effects
  • regulation
  • evidence-based
  • self-care
  • empowerment
  • holistic health centers
  • complementary treatments
  • dissatisfaction
  • scientific evidence
  • appropriate treatment
  • cultural beliefs
What to do next:
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