IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world.What are the causes of it.What meaaures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem?Give reaaon e.g for your answer :

It is true to say that
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 resources
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 an
issue
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world. There are some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 that should be mentioned
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 solutions may be taken
action
Check wording
apply
show examples
by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and individuals. It is undeniable that one of the main causes of the global
fresh
Use the right word
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
problem
Use synonyms
 is global warming.
Climatic
Replace the word
Climate
show examples
 change with global warming leads
less
Change preposition
to less
show examples
 amount of precipitation in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
raining
Replace the word
rain
show examples
 could induce a drop in
water
Use synonyms
 resources.
Secondly
Linking Words
, unconscious consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 is a
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
 factor
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
. People
pretent
Correct your spelling
pretend
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
 these sources will not run out one day.
For example
Linking Words
, textile facilities waste about 1000 L on
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of only a
jean
Fix the agreement mistake
pair of jeans
show examples
.
Needles
Use the right word
Needless
show examples
 to say, the number of jeans
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
produced each year and how much
liters
Check wording
apply
show examples
of
water
Use synonyms
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them.
While
Linking Words
 fresh
Use synonyms
water
Use the right word
freshwater
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
 increases
ever
Use the right word
every
show examples
 year, some measures should
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and each individual. In my point of view, the most effective one is
create
Verb problem
to create
show examples
 awareness.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people do not know what the
problem
Use synonyms
 is and
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of wasting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of
water
Use synonyms
 regularly.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to create
this
Linking Words
 awareness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, each person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a huge
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 sustainability of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 by
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 each other to prevent extreme consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 resources. In conclusion,
water
Use synonyms
 shortage is an important global
issue
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 there are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of reasons to lead
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and individuals could take some action to solve
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to have clear and complete ideas in each paragraph. This helps the reader understand your thoughts better.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, for example, 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This will improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes, such as 'needless to say' instead of 'needles to say' and 'a major factor' instead of 'mojor factor'.
task achievement
You identified important causes of the fresh water problem, which shows your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, which helps to reinforce your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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