As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is argued that businesses should only focus completely on making cash,
while
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others believe that companies
also
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have social responsibilities. I think that businesses have to make
fund
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funds
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, but I agree that they should
also
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have a community duty.
Body · 1
Examining the former opinion, the primary argument supporters would put forward is that if companies make
payment
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payments
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, they pay more taxes. Governments can use these taxes to spend on hospitals, schools, and public services.
This
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is because the industry earn a huge profits from society, so they contribute more
payment
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taxes
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to the authority through taxes.
In addition
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, proponents
also
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believe that commerce which make wage can expand and provide more jobs. The reason is that politicians generate enough turnover to pay for their employees
,
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apply
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and invest in development infrastructures.
Body · 2
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments.
To begin
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with, they claim that companies must not harm the environment.
This
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is because large corporations often have a significant impact on society and the environment through their activities.
For example
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, factory activities usually lead to global warming because of emissions, responsible disposal of waste.
Moreover
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, they should put
bill
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the bill
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back into the community through charity and financing scholarships.
For instance
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, Vinamilk regularly take part in charitable campaigns,
such
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as donating to poor children.
Conclusion
To conclude
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and offer my perspective, there are convincing arguments both for and against businesses having to make property and social responsibilities.
However
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, I personally believe that industries should have a balance between making
salary
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a salary
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and community duty.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly all through the essay. Say why you agree, and keep this idea strong in each body part.
task response
Use main ideas that are clear and full. Some points are good, but a few are hard to understand because of wrong word choice.
task response
Add more direct support for each main point. Explain how and why in a simple way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear topic in each paragraph. Some lines change idea too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'for example', and 'in addition' are good, but some joins are not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and make ideas connect better. This will help the essay feel more natural and easy to follow.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples like tax, jobs, the environment, and charity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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