IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern lifestyle mena that manu parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

In the late 20th century and with the difficulties of living. Now both
parents
Use synonyms
 are working hard to provide a decent
life
Use synonyms
 for their family, which means spending less
time
Use synonyms
 playing and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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care
Use synonyms
 of their kids. I think that
this
Linking Words
 is one of the
significat
Correct your spelling
significant
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in the century as
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle may affect the
unite
Replace the word
unity
show examples
 of the families and
fall
Verb problem
tear
show examples
 them apart. First and foremost, most families dream about living a luxurious
life
Use synonyms
 where they can afford
living
Wrong verb form
to live
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
woking
Use the right word
working
show examples
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
, which means they will not have the luxury of
time
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will suffer with work-
life
Use synonyms
 balance and they will not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their kids or even to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
. Second of all, as both
parents
Use synonyms
 are spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most
time
Use synonyms
 working
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
late hours.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children in recent times miss their
parents
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 as they may be left with their grandparents or nannies to
being take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 of. Unlike the earlier times when
life
Use synonyms
 was affordable and only one of the
parents
Use synonyms
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work and the other
stays
Replace the word
stayed
show examples
 at home to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the children and the house,
this
Linking Words
 way of living could be applied now if the government provides
subsidy
Correct article usage
a subsidy
show examples
 to one of the
parents
Use synonyms
 to stay at home. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my opinion that
Correct article usage
the conteporary
show examples
conteporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 way of living has
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 the families in order to provide
undeprived
Correct word choice
an undisturbed
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 for their loved ones, and
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of the
government
Punctuation problem
government,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue will certainly diminish in the
early
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.

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language
Work on correcting spelling and grammatical mistakes. For example, 'significat' should be 'significant', and 'undeprived' should be 'deprived'.
content
Try to make your ideas clearer and more detailed. For instance, explain how lack of parental attention affects children.
content
Include more examples to support your points; this will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
structure
Make sure your paragraphs are organized. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
content
You have a clear opinion on the topic and state it in the introduction.
content
You compare the past and present well, which helps support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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