IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many students graduate high school and face a decision where to continue their education. Some students choose to study abroad while other students choose to remain in their country. Outline the advantages of studying abroad and give the benefits of studying in your home country.

With the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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globalization
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globalisation
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, more and more
graduated
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graduate
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students
Use synonyms
 choose to go abroad to continue their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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, and other
students
Use synonyms
 stay in their own country. I believe that it
both
Verb problem
is both
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benift
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for our
academic
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academics
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
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 one hand,
If
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if
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 some
students
Use synonyms
 choose to go abroad, they obtain a chance to communicate with people who
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 from different cultural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
In china
Use the right word
in China
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, we usually don't study
at
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in
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 a team, only when we
should take
Verb problem
have to give
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 a presentation. So international
students
Use synonyms
 have a good way to break their
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfort
 zone and develop their communicative competence and ability of receiving new environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 get
alone
Use the right word
along
show examples
 in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 country , they have to foster other skills excepting for academic.
For instance
Linking Words
, cooking skills ensure
student's
Check wording
students'
show examples
 survival
issue
Check wording
apply
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, and in terms of
How
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how
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 to rent a house, it can foster
student's
Check wording
students'
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 competence
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 searching for
imformation
Correct your spelling
information
 independently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a
various
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variety
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 of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 for domestic
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, domestic
students
Use synonyms
 don't face the pressure of communication. It is more confident for them to express themselves and
finally
Linking Words
 form a healthy circle to develop
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 ability.
Second,
Linking Words
domestic
students
Use synonyms
 don't face the stress of expenditure.
International
Correct article usage
An international
show examples
 school usually means expensive spending, because of the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 currency and
marking
Wrong verb form
the marked
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 price. Some domestic
students
Use synonyms
even can
Correct word order
can even
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 live in their
parents
Check wording
parents'
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 home and reduce the expenditure of renting.
Finally
Linking Words
,
demostic
Correct your spelling
domestic
students
Use synonyms
 can
met
Wrong verb form
meet
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 their friends conveniently. The majority of
students
Use synonyms
' friends reside within the country, so it is easy for domestic
students
Use synonyms
 to entertain with their close friends. In conclusion, international
students
Use synonyms
 and domestic
students
Use synonyms
 both possess their advantages respectively,
students
Use synonyms
 are required to select an appropriate path in
accordcance
Correct your spelling
accordance
 with their own
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
.

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clarity
Your introduction should clearly state your main point. Try to rephrase the question and present your opinion more clearly.
structure
Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help readers follow your ideas more easily.
development
Ensure your paragraphs have a clear focus and expand on one main idea with examples to support it.
language
Check your grammar and spelling carefully. Some words are misspelled like 'benift' and 'demostic'.
cohesion
Use linking words like 'however', 'for example', and 'in addition' to help connect your ideas better.
content
You provided both advantages of studying abroad and studying in your home country, which shows a balanced view.
support
Your examples are relevant to the points you make, such as communication skills and the cost of living.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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