IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion?

In recent days, there has been a worldwide debate on the influence of social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms on our lifestyle . In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the benefits of using diverse social
media
Use synonyms
 aspects and the positive impact of the human race in terms of learning different languages and elevating awareness about trendy topics. Global
media
Use synonyms
 has many pros that can help us in understanding the current or previous situations about any desired titles
as
Punctuation problem
. as
show examples
 families who want to encourage their children to gain new skills
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will display beneficial videos about any informative titles ,
such
Linking Words
 as
Teacher
Correct article usage
the Teacher
show examples
 Jon TV show.
This
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 show provides valuable insights on how kids can do their daily tasks , including school homework. A survey was undertaken in Japan that indicates that kids who watched the aforementioned show have managed to do their school tasks successfully.
Moreover
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, these types of excellent materials that have been shared on the internet can do more than we expect. On the hand. The biggest clothing brands ,
such
Linking Words
 as LV, prefer to consolidate many types of cultures in one primary website , as it is much easier to market different clothes that showcase unique cultures from around the world, since most of today's adults prefer to buy
such
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 things online
instead
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 of going physically to stores , which will cost them time and petrol.
For instance
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, the number of online requests to purchase a new shirt made of gold reached over 2 million during the first hour.
To sum up
Linking Words
. Social
media
Use synonyms
 has a huge impact in the modern era and can move messages faster than anything
It
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 will be more powerful in the future with advanced technology.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas (e.g., 'however,' 'for instance') to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and include more examples to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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