Promotions to higher levels should be from within the company and not to a new person from outside. Do you agree or disagree?

Many support the notion that promotions to higher rankings should be given within the organizations
instead
of recruiting a new
staff
member. I completely agree with the given viewpoint of hiring prior employees for upper ranks.
Although
, appointing external people can bring its own potential benefits to the firm. The most significant benefit of promoting employees from within the company is for employers themselves, as companies can not only save their substantial amount of expenses to be spent on the hiring process but
also
apply to save time as existing team
members
may take much less time to adapt their new role because of their prior knowledge and skills.
As a result
, a considerable amount of money and time can be saved for interviews and training. Adding to it, an existing employee can understand the strengths and weaknesses of other
staff
members
.
This
, in turn, can prove helpful in delegating the tasks to team
members
in accordance with their boon and bane.
Additionally
, internal promotions can
also
contribute to the sense of loyalty among the workers who have been promoted
along with
other
staff
members
. When individuals observe peers promoted to higher positions after their efforts and dedication, it can motivate and encourage them to invest more honesty in their roles to achieve their goals.
Such
a positive environment often results in a productive and satisfied workforce
along with
reducing
staff
turnover ratio.
To sum up
, there are more benefits of promoting internal
staff
than hiring from outside
whereas
if requirements are not met by the internal team
members
for the job, outside employees can bring new experiences, talents, and innovations that could be useful for the company.
Submitted by kulanmolnaib on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay provides a complete response to the task and covers both sides of the argument, you could improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Consider providing more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but further development of your main points with more detailed reasoning could improve coherence and cohesion. Try to make smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to ensure better flow.
general
Lastly, ensure that your use of vocabulary and grammar does not interfere with the reader’s understanding. A few grammatical improvements could enhance the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a cohesive structure.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by mentioning potential benefits of hiring externally while supporting internal promotions, which shows your ability to discuss both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with reasoning, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employee morale
  • Career advancement
  • Familiar with company processes
  • Organizational culture
  • Institutional knowledge
  • Continuity
  • External recruitment
  • Innovative approaches
  • Cost-effective
  • Fresh perspectives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: