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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the number of time in minutes of telephone calls in Australia. The calls are divided into local, national and international, and
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
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 categories from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Australians make the highest amount of local calls compared to the remaining categories. Mobile calls,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, get the least portion of telephone usage over the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the picture, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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australians
Fix capitalization
Australians
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 made telephone calls
at
Change preposition
for
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 72
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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 in 2001.
This
Linking Words
 part had a
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuating
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 change over the eight years. The local calls peaked around 90
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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, making it the highest usage of all by 2005. In the
last
Linking Words
 three years, the calls had a slight increase, with
around
Rephrase
apply
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a quarter drop by 2008. Compared to the other categories, both national and
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
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 calls got an increasing portion over the years. The mobiles did not sell as many
quota
Check wording
apply
show examples
as
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 and international. In 2008, the former had a slight increase at around 61
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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,
while
Linking Words
 the latter
got
Verb problem
had
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 46
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
in
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 usage
in
Change preposition
at
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 the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words billions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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