IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Human society has made great technological progress in the last hundred years.Some people think this also has negative effects on our life.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,in our modern world
human
Punctuation problem
, human
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civilization
Use the right word
civilisation
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 has reached to breakthrough revolution in
technology
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 10 decades.
Whilist
Correct your spelling
Whilst
 some think it has a negative impact on our lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
technology
Use synonyms
 plays
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role in shaping our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and in 21
century
Punctuation problem
century,
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 it is impossible to live without it.
Electronical
Correct your spelling
Electrical
 devices
such
Linking Words
 as
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 computers, mobile phones and laptops have
contrebuted
Correct your spelling
contributed
people
Use synonyms
 to
live
Replace the word
lives
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 easier.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 there are
not
Rephrase
apply
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 workplaces where
people
Use synonyms
 work without technological devices because they provide a better atmosphere in
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 area.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
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 because of
technology
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 can earn money by sitting at home and working on computers.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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technology
Use synonyms
 has provided a big chance for us to be more modernised.
Although
Linking Words
 it brings us good
drawbacks
Punctuation problem
drawbacks,
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 there are some disadvantages which should be considered equally. Few
people
Use synonyms
 are getting addicted to
technology
Use synonyms
. Using modern devices without setting a limit may result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some health problems like
bad
Correct word choice
poor
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eye vision
Check wording
eyesight
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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technology
Use synonyms
effects
Use the right word
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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our physical activity status by sitting
much
Correct word choice
for a long
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 time in front of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
 it forces
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate less
face by face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 a result of which we will lose our communication skills. In conclusion, despite providing better access to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
Punctuation problem
life,
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 it has some bad backgrounds dependent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our health.

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task response
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on whether technology has more positive or negative effects. This will help guide your essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help the reader understand your main points easily.
task response
Make sure to use more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical mistakes. Review your sentences for errors in word choice and sentence structure. This will improve clarity.
task response
Your essay mentions both the positive and negative aspects of technology, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You've structured your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps to separate your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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