IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart and table show information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table show information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart and table
illustatrates
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the data about
visitors
Use synonyms
 at a specific holiday resort in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pie chart gives
proportion of the
Correct word order
the proportion of
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 by area or origin
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travellers from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 leading,
while
Linking Words
 the table depicts the detailed information about the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 and their main activities and accommodation. The average length of stay is highest among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European
Tourists
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the pie chart shows the data in percentage of
visitors
Use synonyms
 from region or origin,
while
Linking Words
 the European
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited the highest percentage with 35%. The lowest percentage of
visitors
Use synonyms
 from all other
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 with 10%,
while
Linking Words
 37%
visitors
Use synonyms
comming
Correct your spelling
come
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia. The US
tourists
Use synonyms
visted
Correct your spelling
visited
 with 18% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia. The table gives detailed information about the activity of
visitors
Use synonyms
 and stays, and where they leave during
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
. The Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 stay for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 period of time and prefer to stay in
5-star
Correct article usage
a 5-star
show examples
 hotel and love sightseeing
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the
European
Replace the word
Europeans
show examples
 stay for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 period of time, and like
spend
Verb problem
to spend
show examples
 time
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Use the right word
a
show examples
caraven
Correct your spelling
caravan
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 camping and enjoying
swiming
Correct your spelling
swimming
. The American
visitors
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
14
Change preposition
of 14
show examples
 days and choose 4-star hotels and love
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the Asian people,
while
Linking Words
 other
tourists
Use synonyms
 stay around 10 days and like camping and surfing.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist demographics
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • fluctuations
  • spending habits
  • preferences
  • external factors
  • economic situations
  • resort developments
  • attractions
  • correlations
  • trend
  • demographic changes
  • flux
  • visitor numbers
  • impact analysis
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