IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Around the world, fast
food
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 is widely available in restaurants and supermarkets. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both points of view on fast
food
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. It is often argued that a fast snack has some advantages. It is
delisious
Correct your spelling
delicious
 and satisfying.
For example
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, it has benefits for working mothers. because it is quick to prepare and it allows them to balance their family responsibilities and their managing their time for work
Moreover
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, fast
food
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 can be healthy if it includes vitamins and proteins.
On the other hand
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, Junk
food
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 is a fast
food
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 , but it is not healthy because it includes a high amount of oil and fats, and leads to health issues .
For example
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, it delays kids from growing up healthy and
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 a result of feeding an unhealthy breakfast daily ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
 delays improving their mind and their skills
due to
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 a lack of vitamins. In summary, fast
food
Use synonyms
 actually outweighs its disadvantages for society, And people should focus on a diet schedule to maintain a healthy lifestyle

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state whether you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages or not. Try to include a clear opinion in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to group similar ideas together in paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
You could give more specific examples for the points you make. For instance, mention some specific health issues caused by junk food.
positive
You presented both advantages and disadvantages of fast food, which shows you understand the topic well.
positive
The points made about working mothers finding fast food useful are relevant and clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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