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Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in Canada in 1996,2006 and 2016. Summatise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in Canada in 1996,2006 and 2016. Summatise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate how the
number
Use synonyms
 of native
speakers
Use synonyms
 of various languages changed in Canada in three separate years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who speak French experienced a slight increase over a
thirty- year
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thirty-year
show examples
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 the figure of individuals who communicate in non-official languages went down slowly throughout the same time span.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the figure of English
speakers
Use synonyms
 went down, it was the
top speaking
Use the right word
top-spoken
show examples
language
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 over the same
period
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 of time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, French was the second highest in
number
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 with 23% in 1996, but it saw a slow decrease and reached 21% by the end of the
period
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. Only the
number
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 of non-official
language
Use synonyms
speakers
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 experienced an upward trend , with around 6% rise from 17% in 1996 to 23% in 2016 among all three mentioned numbers of
language
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speakers
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of people who spoke English was 60% in 1996, and
this
Linking Words
 figure reached 58% and 56% in 2006 and 2016, respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 declined slightly,English was still the top
language
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 , which had more than half of the total
speakers
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 throughout the entire
period
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, speakers, period, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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