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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are different views about the benefits of single-sex and mixed
schools
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.
While
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 some people assert that single-gender
schools
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 are much more successful in academic performance, many others argue that mixed
schools
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 launch children on
path
Correct article usage
a path
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 of more practical
competences
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competencies
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 in the future. I personally am in
favor
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favour
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 of the latter view and, despite discussing
both
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 sides, will explain the reasons for my choice. On one hand, some individuals believe that single-sex
schools
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 provide
students
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 with the opportunity to
more
Verb problem
achieve more
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 academic achievements based on two main reasons.
Firstly
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, they are inevitably more concentrated on their curriculum
due to
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 no significant gender-based distractions in their classes.
That is
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, co-existence of
both
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 genders may lead to some unnecessary obsessions in
students
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,
such
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 as paying too much attention to their appearance or being
exaggeratedly
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excessively
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 self-conscious
which
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, which
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consequently
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 causes social anxiety and awkward academic performance in them.
Secondly
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,
single-sex
Correct article usage
a single-sex
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 educational system allows tutors to adjust their teaching methods to meet their
students
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’ specific needs
which
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, which
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 are affected by their sex.
For instance
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, boys are more easily distracted and
additionally
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 more into practical methods of learning
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in
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, in
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 contrast to girls
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 makes it challenging to teach
both
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 genders simultaneously.
On the other hand
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, some people think that
co-ed
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a co-ed
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 educational system prepares the youth for
better
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a better
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 social life in the future.
Students
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 will have the chance to get familiar with the opposite gender and their considerable differences in either their attitude to life or their
behavior
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behaviour
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 if they participate in mixed
schools
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.
Additionally
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, coeducational
schools
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 make
students
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 encounter some challenges
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such
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, such
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 as lecturing in front of the opposite sex and dealing with
the
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apply
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peer pressure
which
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, which
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 makes them much more self-confident and ready
for tackling
Change preposition
to tackle
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 problems of their future marital and professional lives.
In other words
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, children will learn how to collaborate with
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 gender to fulfil their same goals despite all the differences and conflicts they may have;
that is
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 the reason why I believe it is so beneficial for children to take part in mixed
schools
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 to be
both
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 assertive and socially-skilled.
To conclude
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,
although
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 single-gender
schools
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 can be advantageous to some extent, I believe that co-ed
schools
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 will not only raise more self-confident and well-rounded
students
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 but
also
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 some flexible adults with more social skills in
both
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 their personal and professional lives.

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear and presents the topic well. However, try to make your thesis statement stronger by clearly stating your opinion right in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good. Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help readers follow your main ideas more easily.
Task Response
You provide relevant examples, but some could be more specific. For instance, mention specific subjects where single-sex schools excel or give examples of social interactions in mixed schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your transitions between paragraphs are moderate, work on using more linking words to clearly show the connection between your ideas.
Content
You provided a good balance between both views, making your essay well-rounded.
Critical Thinking
Your arguments are logical and show a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimize distractions
  • gender-related learning styles
  • tailored learning environment
  • sense of empowerment
  • underrepresented
  • bridge the gender gap
  • emulate real-world environments
  • promoting interactions
  • communicate and collaborate
  • break down gender stereotypes
  • mutual respect
  • inclusivity
  • well-rounded individuals
What to do next:
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