IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In order to solve traffic problems, goverments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

In today`s contemporary era,
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems are increasing. The ministry should charge
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 from private car users, and
use
Use synonyms
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 money to improve public
transport
Use synonyms
. The benefits of
this
Linking Words
 can be
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution, as roads can be more
specious
Use the right word
spacious
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the disadvantages can be
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 ministry will get less amount of
tax
Use synonyms
and
Check wording
revenue and
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
can be
Verb problem
may become
show examples
 more difficult in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 future.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the advantages of taxing private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 can solve
everyday`s
Check wording
everyday
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 buses and trains.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will avoid
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 on roads, where they can
use
Use synonyms
 an alternative,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can create more space on public
highway
Fix the agreement mistake
highways
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 help the climate, as
this
Linking Words
 will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government can earn good money from
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and fuel, which can develop more public
transport
Use synonyms
 and help
middle class
Use the right word
middle-class
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a research done
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Western Sydney University
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
mentined
Correct your spelling
mentioned
higher
Correct word choice
that higher
show examples
 taxes on private cars can help normal
people
Use synonyms
 and make
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 environment friendly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
solve
Use synonyms
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 issue
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the drawback of higher
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on private vehicles can make public
transport
Use synonyms
 difficult
due to
Linking Words
 increasing numbers of
passanger
Correct your spelling
passengers
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer more in busy public
transport
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lead to a major incident in some cases,
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct article usage
a stampade
show examples
stampade
Correct your spelling
stampede
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the authorities can get lower taxes from petrol and
gases
Fix the agreement mistake
gas
show examples
, when
people
Use synonyms
 started using buses and tubes.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was an article from the Times of India which says increasing public
tarnsport
Correct your spelling
transport
 can solve problems related
Use synonyms
traffic
Change preposition
to traffic
show examples
, but reduce the large source of income for the ministry, which affects the
further
Linking Words
 development of public
transport
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the higher taxes on personal cars can help to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
Use synonyms
 and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
create
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 climate
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 later
on
Add a comma
on,
show examples
 it will suffer because of
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 budget from the government and with
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 number of users.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your essay. Use clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler language and check for spelling mistakes to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You identified both the advantages and disadvantages of taxing private car owners, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
You presented some relevant points about traffic and pollution, which are important issues.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: