IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the past, photography was used to real people and places; however, because of technology, today you cannot trust what you see. Is it a negative or positive aspect of development? Give your idea.

In the past, individuals used to take photos to display real
people
Use synonyms
 and places.
However
Linking Words
, recently,
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
technonlogy
Correct your spelling
technology
, the photos are not reliable anymore.
While
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 using
technology
Use synonyms
 can assist us to take beautiful
pictures
Use synonyms
, I personally
belive
Use the right word
believe
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the drawbacks of using
technology
Use synonyms
 in photography
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 its benefits.
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 different types of applications and tools to enhance the quality of their photos.
For instance
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, they might
took
Wrong verb form
have taken
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 a beautiful picture where there was
not
Rephrase
apply
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 good light, so they can simply edit it with various applications. The other reason that
people
Use synonyms
 use these editing applications
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 is
because
Change preposition
that
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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 many tools to change the photo
as
Change preposition
in
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 the way
people
Use synonyms
 like.
For example
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, it easily offers
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to edit
Correct article usage
the colors
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colors
Use the right word
colours
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 of the picture to improve the photo's look.
On the other hand
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, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 use modern
technology
Use synonyms
 to fake places and show what they want. By way of illustration,
people
Use synonyms
 use
photoshops
Correct subject-verb agreement
Photoshop
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 to change their look and body.
This
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 is why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 their
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is not the same as their
pictures
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 cannot rely on
people
Use synonyms
, especially
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media.
Also
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, annoying items or places were omitted by the
people
Use synonyms
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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even they
Correct word order
they even
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 add new
feutures
Correct your spelling
features
 to change the picture in terms of their interest. In conclusion,
although
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 using
technology
Use synonyms
 can be
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to capture better
pictures
Use synonyms
, it is indeed problematic in terms of
pictures
Use synonyms
 not
look
Wrong verb form
looking
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 like real anymore and
people
Use synonyms
 cannot trust what they see on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on your logical flow from one idea to another. Each paragraph should connect better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
You made a good point about the use of technology in photography.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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