IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that vet doctors are supposed to take responsibility for kittens abandoned in the clinic, while others think that they have not to do it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sometimes, strangers anonymously leave
kittens
Use synonyms
 in front of veterinary clinics so that vet staff can take care of them.
Although
Linking Words
 usually
doctors
Use synonyms
 adopt them,
such
Linking Words
 situations produce a lot of controversy among vet teams.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main points of the left
Use synonyms
kittens
Check wording
kittens'
show examples
 issue. First of all, it is important to notice that despite different opinions regarding abandoned
kittens
Use synonyms
,
doctors
Use synonyms
 take responsibility for them in most cases. They do it because of their sense of justice and desire to help everybody regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 situation.
As a result
Linking Words
, we have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plenty of stories when a veterinarian adopts more than one animal.
For instance
Linking Words
, sonologist Valeria has at least 3 cats which were left in the
clinic
Use synonyms
 by their previous owners. So,
doctors
Use synonyms
 get deeply involved in every abandoned kitten case
due to
Linking Words
 their personal responsibility, which is common among medical workers.
However
Linking Words
, when left
kittens
Use synonyms
 appear in a
clinic
Use synonyms
, every time it takes the participation of every member of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 team to find the best decision for each particular incident. There is no easy solution. To adopt
kittens
Use synonyms
, any person should have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opportunity
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it
and
Rephrase
so and
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 be ready to spend at least 10 years of their life
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking care of them. In case, when among stuff there is no one who can take responsibility for it, a controversy arises. Options which can be considered
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 include keeping
kittens
Use synonyms
 in a
clinic
Use synonyms
 for a
while
Linking Words
, giving
kittens
Use synonyms
 to volunteers and in the worst cases, euthanasia. The
last
Linking Words
 example, where the kitten died, showed that it is impossible just to ignore it. Regardless of
Correct article usage
the ateam's
show examples
ateam's
Correct your spelling
team's
 decision, it is always a difficult challenge.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is a reason why the vast majority of veterinarians try to prevent leaving pets in a
clinic
Use synonyms
 using security cameras or other methods.
This
Linking Words
 essay
discussed
Wrong verb form
discusses
show examples
 why
doctors
Use synonyms
 continue to help abandoned cats despite the fact that a decision to help is hard to accept and why they try to avoid
such
Linking Words
 situations.
Although
Linking Words
 it is most likely that
kittens
Use synonyms
 will be saved because of
doctor's
Correct article usage
the doctor's
show examples
 nature, people
Verb problem
DO HAVE
show examples
HAVE NOT
Correct word order
NOT have
show examples
 to help everyone. In my opinion, people who leave pets in a
clinic
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 must be punished.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction so the reader knows your view immediately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simpler sentence structures to improve clarity of your points and ideas.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points and make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea to help guide the reader through the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You show understanding of the different sides of the issue which helps create a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Your effort in discussing complex issues like pet abandonment is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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