IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Improvementa in health, 3ducation and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Health, education and
trade
Use synonyms
 are the basic infrastructure of
development
Use synonyms
.Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
these are the primary factors for the
development
Use synonyms
 of the poorer nations,some people argue that the government of wealthy nations should contribute more
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
 parts of
unwealthy
Correct article usage
the unwealthy
show examples
 nations.I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement because it is the responsibility of richer
countries
Use synonyms
 to assist those
countries
Use synonyms
 which
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have even the
privileged
Replace the word
privilege
show examples
 of living
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 life,access to basic education and
Use synonyms
trade
Punctuation problem
trade,
show examples
 because that will help to develop
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 between these
countries
Use synonyms
. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it will not be hard for
well to do
Use the right word
well-to-do
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 to spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
development
Use synonyms
 of basic facilities for poor
countries
Use synonyms
.But that money will make a lot of
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
 for the people who have to die
everytime
Use the right word
every time
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 minor
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
,lack of availability of hospitals,Lack of basic knowledge about various minor topics.
Also
Linking Words
,for the
development
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
trade
Add a comma
trade,
show examples
 they can
contruct
Correct your spelling
construct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy routes between them and the
country
Use synonyms
 they are trying to help.That will not only develop the poor
country
Use synonyms
,but it
also
Linking Words
 will
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 the rich
country
Use synonyms
 since there will be easy
acess
Correct your spelling
access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
 and
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
. They can export the goods produced in their
country
Use synonyms
 to
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 has constructed many beautiful roads in Nepal
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has
further
Linking Words
 helped
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 in exporting
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 materials to our
country
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,it is very important for developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to maintain good
terms
Check wording
relations
show examples
 with all the
countries
Use synonyms
 as they are able to sustain
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 position
due to
Linking Words
 the good
trade
Use synonyms
 between them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 developing
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
infrastructure
Punctuation problem
infrastructure,
show examples
 they can
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 it completely in their own way
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great marketing strategy for them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will help them attract more customers.
This
Linking Words
 may help them to seek each other during the time of peril. In conclusion, it will be win
win
Use the right word
win-win
show examples
 situation for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.Poor
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 will get the advantage of enhancing their
nation
Punctuation problem
nation,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 rich
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 will get the way to be richer.Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
both parties don't have to work hard,they will have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growing opportunities.It will be like blooming together by watering each other.So,they must be encouraged to help each other in
the
Correct article usage
any
show examples
 way possible.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by stating your main opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Check for spelling mistakes such as 'donot', 'benifit', and 'acess' to improve clarity.
task achievement
You provide clear reasons for why rich countries should help poor countries.
task achievement
You give a good example of China's involvement in Nepal, which helps support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • governments
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • improvement
  • healthcare
  • education
  • trade
  • cooperation
  • mutual benefits
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • resources
  • global stability
  • reduce inequalities
  • international organizations
  • NGOs
  • facilitating
  • assistance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: