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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of tourists (measured in millions) visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists (measured in millions) visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the
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The
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 line graph illustrates the
number
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 of visitors (in millions) who
traveled
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travelled
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 to a specific Caribbean
island
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 from 2010 to 2017. It divides the total into two categories
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 those who stayed on the
island
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 and those who stayed on
cruise
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 ships.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
number
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 of
tourists
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 to the
island
Use synonyms
 increased steadily over the period.
While
Linking Words
 both types of accommodations became more popular, the
number
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 of
cruise
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 ship visitors saw the most significant growth. In 2010, around 1
million
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tourists
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 visited the
island
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. About 750,000 stayed on the
island
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, and only 250,000 stayed on
cruise
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 ships. From 2011 to 2013, the
number
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 of
cruise
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tourists
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 remained relatively stable,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
island
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-staying
tourists
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 slightly increased. From 2014 onwards, there was a sharp rise in
cruise
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 ship visitors, climbing to 2
million
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 by 2017. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of
tourists
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 staying on the
island
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 rose but at a slower rate, reaching 1.5
million
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 in 2017. By the end of the period, the total
number
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 of
tourists
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 peaked at 3.5
million
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. In conclusion, the
island
Use synonyms
 became increasingly popular among
tourists
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, especially those who stayed on
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships, which experienced the fastest growth during the 7-year period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, cruise, tourists, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 5 times.
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