IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good fr a country while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Small
Correct article usage
A small
show examples
 proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 have very high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 in some countries.Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is beneficial for the
nation
Punctuation problem
nation,
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while
Linking Words
 others think that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should restrict salaries and limit the
amount
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 can earn.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and provide
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
the conclusion
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the one hand,it is beneficial for the
country
Use synonyms
 to have citizens
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 earn
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 because the more
money
Use synonyms
 they earn,the more
tax
Use synonyms
 they will pay.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 he
country
Use synonyms
 like
US
Correct article usage
the US
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,the rich citizens like Elon Musk, Bill Gates will contribute a lot to the
country
Use synonyms
 by paying
high
Correct article usage
a high
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amount
Use synonyms
 of
tax
Use synonyms
 to the
government
Use synonyms
.Rich
people
Use synonyms
 will invest in building more companies,
start ups
Use the right word
start-ups
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will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will
further
Linking Words
 develop the
country
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can
also
Linking Words
 provide employment opportunities to the
people
Use synonyms
 of
society
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 paid by the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the reasons for the sound
development
Use synonyms
 of the
country
Use synonyms
.The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 collected through
this
Linking Words
 can be invested in larger projects like hydropower, transportation , improvements in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 and education sectors and many more.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary,some argue that it is not a good way for the balance of the
country
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 earning more will get richer and richer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the poor
people
Use synonyms
 will never be able to compete with them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will demotivate
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 class
people
Use synonyms
 to work hard.If the
government
Use synonyms
will limit
Wrong verb form
limits
show examples
 the
amount
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 can
earn
Punctuation problem
earn,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will start doing social services to maintain
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 image in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 since they are not allowed to have
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.Limiting
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 will automatically bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and help to maintain a balanced
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,China has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar policy.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 take a huge
amount
Use synonyms
 of
tax
Use synonyms
 from
high
Use the right word
high-income
show examples
 societies
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
and
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 from poor societies
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
ulitize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 that
money
Use synonyms
 in the
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 of health,education,
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are the reasons for the unmatchable
development
Use synonyms
 of
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
. In conclusion,I believe that it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 step to
restict
Correct your spelling
restrict
 salaries for
high earning
Use the right word
high-earning
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and
utlizing
Correct your spelling
utilise
 the
money
Use synonyms
 in the
development
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 brings harmony and peace in the
country
Use synonyms
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which every citizen will be able to contribute to the sustainable
development
Use synonyms
 of their nation.
Use synonyms
Country
Correct article usage
The country
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 can
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
brainstroming
Correct your spelling
brainstorming
 ideas of every individual rather than
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
high class
Use the right word
high-class
show examples
society
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to the main question.
coherence
Try to use clearer topic sentences to introduce each main point in the paragraphs.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'however', or 'for example'.
task achievement
The essay successfully discusses both views as requested in the prompt.
task achievement
The use of examples like Elon Musk and China provides context to the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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