Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sports, while others think that mental strength is more important.

There is no denying the fact that
sports
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are vital for our
overall
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health.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the most important thing to success in
sports
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is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
body
strength
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, there is
also
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an argument that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
strength
Use synonyms
is more crucial than physical
strength
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.
This
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essay will discuss both points of view and express my own opinions. On one hand,many people believe that most
sports
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require strong bodies.
In other words
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,athletes need muscle
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and speed.
Such
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as swimming and football.
In addition
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, a strong body can reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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of injury during games. A person who regularly
workout
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works out
show examples
and
stretch
Fix the agreement mistake
stretches
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can show
a
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apply
show examples
greater
develop
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development
show examples
and
it
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apply
show examples
is less likely to get hurt.
On the other hand
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, mental
strength
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can deal with pressure and stress. It is
also
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possible to say that athletes need to be focused and confident during tough competitions to win.
Moreover
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, a strong mindset can improve
decision- making
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decision-making
show examples
and
improve
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apply
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performance.
For example
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,
sports
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like tennis or archery are need to focus and
stay
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staying
show examples
calm in order to achieve their goals. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that both are equally important and complete each other. You need your brain and body together to function.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to make your main points more clear and organized. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. This will help the reader understand your thoughts better.
task achievement
Make sure to support your ideas with strong examples. For instance, you mention specific sports, but you could explain how physical or mental strength helps in those sports. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider variety of vocabulary and grammar structures. This will make your writing more interesting. For example, instead of saying 'strong body', you can say 'physical fitness'.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame your essay well.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, showing you understand different perspectives on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical strength
  • endurance
  • athlete
  • performance
  • injury prevention
  • mental strength
  • pressure
  • focus
  • high-stakes situations
  • mental game
  • resilience
  • setbacks
  • recover
  • motivated
  • foundation
  • longevity
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