IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be requierd to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that many good employees
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 engineers,
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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, or even
scientists
Punctuation problem
scientists,
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 sometimes
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prefer to
get
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct word order
work in a
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work
Use synonyms
 in foreign
country
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
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that
Correct word choice
where
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 they
do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not learn in it.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that they should
work
Use synonyms
 in the same place
they
Rephrase
where they
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 train
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. There is
also
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 an argument that they should feel free to choose the
country
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will analyse the topics from both points of view and give my opinion. On one hand, working in your
country
Use synonyms
 is considered a social
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
In other words
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,
professionals
Fix the agreement mistake
professional
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 people form
a
Correct article usage
an
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 important part of society, so they have to
work
Use synonyms
 for them to develop their countries and contribute to making
thir
Correct your spelling
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 better.
Also
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, there is a saying say the closer people
have
Verb problem
are
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 right to give
them your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 best.
In addition
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, applying them to choose
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 place
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
of work
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 might be a problem in the
feature
Use the right word
future
show examples
.
For example
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, some foreign countries give more to them, so they will use to have a high salary, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 rate of salaries.
On the other hand
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, if we do not give them the right to select, it will be unfair for them and
violation
Correct article usage
a violation
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 of
rights
Correct pronoun usage
their rights
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that people always have different dreams and ambitions, so we have to respect their desires and goals even if
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 do not serve us.
Moreover
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, working in different areas will give them experience and
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 their skills In conclusion, there is no easy
anwers
Correct your spelling
answer
 for
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that professionals and talented citizens should give their effort to serve their
country
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Aim to make it more interesting to grab the reader's attention.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to fix spelling and grammar errors. For instance, 'requierd,' 'resposibility,' and 'thir' should be corrected.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that points flow logically. Linking words can help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This will help in showing your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your thoughts well, showing your position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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