IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three different metals during 2014 summarize information by selecting and deporting the main features in may competitions relevant

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three different metals during 2014 summarize information by selecting and deporting the main features in may competitions relevant
The line graph illustrates the average change in cost for metals
such
Linking Words
 as copper, nickel and zinc
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 compared with
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
month
Use synonyms
 in 2014. The data is presented in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, fluctuations were observed in prices for all three metals in every
month
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, prices for copper dropped from 1
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in January to less than 1
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in March and remained similar in
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
Use synonyms
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
. To add on, the nickel cost fell around -3
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in June.
However
Linking Words
, it increased in July by 2
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 and plateaued before rising
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the year.
Secondly
Linking Words
, copper rate slightly declined till June
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 below 0
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 from more than 1.9
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 gradually rose and reached
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
more than 1
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 zinc reached at
top
Check wording
peak
show examples
 in February from the first
month
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
decreased
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
 steadily until June
Check wording
apply
show examples
month
Use synonyms
. After that
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
October again reached over 1
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in November.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words month, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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