IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts below
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 the
chances
Use the right word
changes
show examples
 in ownership of electrical appliances and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time spent doing housework in households in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
,
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 and vacuum cleaner were the most appliances have been used
by
Check wording
appliances by
show examples
 people.
Besides
Linking Words
, in the second
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
, dwellers can
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 a
decline
Replace the word
declining
show examples
 trend
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housekeeper
Replace the word
housekeeping
show examples
 per
week
Use synonyms
, per household. In the electrical machines
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
, people usually used
washing
Correct article usage
a washing
show examples
 machine to do housework in 1920. After 40 years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of dwellers
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
this
Linking Words
 appliance
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 70% and rose to more than 70% in 2019.
Refrigerator
Correct article usage
The refrigerator
show examples
 had 0%
users
Fix the agreement mistake
user
show examples
 rate in 1920. In 1960, 90% employers chose
this
Linking Words
 machine to do housework
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 increased to 100% users in 2000. 30% users used
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
show examples
 cleaner in 1920.
This
Linking Words
 statistic rose to 70% in 1960 and led the chart in 2019 with 100% employers,
led
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 the
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 in 2019. In the second chart, the amount of time spent each
week
Use synonyms
 decreased over time. In 1920, dwellers used electrical appliances 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. After 40 years,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 declined to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. The
graph
Use synonyms
 decreased quickly to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
, reduced to 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 compared to 99 years ago.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, graph, number, hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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