IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More people than ever before are travelling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
low income
Use the right word
low-income
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 countries are
try focusing
Wrong verb form
trying to focus
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 on developing and promoting their
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 industries . Some
people
Use synonyms
 have
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 about it.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that expanding their tourist industries
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 a lot of positive sites ,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think that it should bring many disadvantages .
However
Linking Words
 ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe
this
Linking Words
 can be
a
Correct article usage
an
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 advantage
development
Change preposition
for development
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 . There are some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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about
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, because tourism has become one of the major
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 in international commerce , which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more superiority than other
industrial
Replace the word
industries
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such
Linking Words
 as food production, garment . So that they can take advantage of
Correct article usage
the nature
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nature
Replace the word
natural
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 beauty and landscapes to boost their economy, without spending too much money.
For example
Linking Words
, Indonesia is an island kingdom with poor farming
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 and low technology
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 tourism has helped Indonesia increase
GDP
Correct pronoun usage
its GDP
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 ( GDP in 2024 increased by 25
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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to
Change preposition
from
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 2023).
Secondly
Linking Words
, when developing country are expanding their
tourist
Replace the word
tourism
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, they can give jobs to a lot of poor
people
Use synonyms
 , especially in remote areas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the creation of jobs for
people
Use synonyms
 can
minimize
Use the right word
minimise
show examples
 massive migration to the city to help
stabillize
Correct your spelling
stabilise
 society . In
VietNam
Fix capitalization
Vietnam
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, the fact that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
invest
Correct subject-verb agreement
invests
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 in developing eco tourism in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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has created hundreds of thousands of jobs for local
people
Use synonyms
, especially ethnic minorities.
People
Use synonyms
 no longer have to work far from home with
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 income. In conclusion, travel has enjoyed increasing popularity in developing countries because it is a profitable economic sector.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion about the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use connectors like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to give more examples to support your main points and make them clearer.
positive
You have identified the benefits of tourism in developing countries well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • economic contributor
  • environmental impact
  • cultural erosion
  • infrastructure
  • overtourism
  • global perspective
  • socio-economic implications
  • career opportunities
What to do next:
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