IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that teacher should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well. Others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate that
teachers
Use synonyms
 should focus only on providing the academic knowledge to their students,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that the difference between ethical and unethical should be taught to the pupils by their education providers. I will be discussing both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viewpoints
while
Linking Words
 expressing my views in favour of
teachers
Use synonyms
, providing knowledge about correct and incorrect in the essay below. On the one hand, it is believed by some people that education is not limited only to books and subjects
while
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 being taught by professionals, as learners spend most of their learning time with their
teachers
Use synonyms
. Students learn with more passion and dedication
while
Linking Words
 being educated in the classroom, so they should
also
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 attain moral
values
Use synonyms
 that can help themselves and society.
For instance
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, when the young generation is not nourished by their instructors on how to talk and behave with their classmates and elders, they will not be able to differentiate between good and bad behaviour, which might lead a whole generation towards being rude and disrespectful.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to ascertain high
values
Use synonyms
 among young
kids
Use synonyms
 to make a society enriched in high moral
values
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that it is the responsibility of
parents
Use synonyms
 to tell their offspring the difference between right and wrong,
instead
Linking Words
 of their tutors.
Parents
Use synonyms
 are the first
teachers
Use synonyms
 of their
kids
Use synonyms
, who guide them during the beginning stage of their lives.
For example
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,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 young ones are guided on the right path from the very beginning of their lives, they usually do not tend to deviate from it.
This
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 can
also
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 be shown to
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 by the action of their
parents
Use synonyms
,
while
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 handling various situations, because
kids
Use synonyms
 in general act in a way
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they see happening around them. Henceforth, it is
action
Correct article usage
the action
show examples
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 tackling various situations, which
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
show examples
 their
kids
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 to face similar circumstances
accordingly
Linking Words
.
Overall
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,
this
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 topic has divided
view points
Use the right word
viewpoints
show examples
 of people towards learning moral and ethical
values
Use synonyms
 in educational institutions or at home. In my opinion, offspring learn everything from their
parents
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by looking up to them, but
teachers
Use synonyms
 are the ones who sow the seeds of knowledge and character in their
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 lives.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but you could add a more specific thesis statement that directly states your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words to help connect your ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Make sure to proofread your writing for typos and grammatical errors, like 'childern' which should be 'children'.
Content
You have presented both sides of the argument well, which shows a balanced view.
Supporting Details
You used examples to support your points, which is a good way to strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical development
  • moral compass
  • character building
  • values and principles
  • curriculum
  • academic knowledge
  • subject expertise
  • pedagogical approach
  • value education
  • moral dilemmas
  • social responsibility
  • behavioral norms
What to do next:
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