IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Nowadays, with the rise in demand for skills-oriented jobs, taking a
Use synonyms
year
Check wording
year's
show examples
 gap after the completion of high
schooling
Replace the word
school
show examples
 has become a new vogue amongst teenagers. The benefits and drawbacks
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the same will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 the advantages, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 out before going to university
has
Verb problem
include
show examples
 myriad benefits
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 skill development and preparation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 competitive
exams
Use synonyms
. To elaborate
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 in detail, these days the
year
Use synonyms
 gaps are coming out as a great
opportunity
Use synonyms
 for students to learn new skills
as well as
Linking Words
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 existing ones.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some teenagers are opting out for a
Use synonyms
year
Check wording
year's
show examples
 break to prepare for various competitive
exams
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as entrance tests and
government based
Use the right word
government-based
show examples
exams
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, a massive number of students take a
year
Use synonyms
 gap to prepare for
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
 tests of some prestigious universities like IITs and AIIMS. Moving on to the disadvantages, having a
year
Use synonyms
 break in
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 may sometimes incite
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of job
opportunity
Use synonyms
. To expand
this
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
, many mega-corporations segregate and exclude potential job aspirants in the interview round on the basis of their age and
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 off between the completion of their schooling and joining a university.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
year
Use synonyms
 breaks can
also
Linking Words
 lead to economic losses if one does not perform as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
intended
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the information technology department of
meta
Fix capitalization
Meta
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 has a policy of only hiring freshers below the age of 25, which seizes the
opportunity
Use synonyms
 from many job-seekers.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is apparent from the above paragraphs that
year
Use synonyms
 gaps provide
Use synonyms
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
show examples
 to students to focus on skills building and competitive
exams
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 may sometimes result in
opportunity
Use synonyms
 and economic losses.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Your examples are good, but adding more detail can make your points stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words will help with this.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided specific examples that relate to the topic, which is a strong point in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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