IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, some claim
science
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 should
prioritize
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prioritise
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 enhancing living standards over everything else. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea because there are other pressing
g oals
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goals
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 that scientific
research
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 should never overlook.
To begin
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 with, scientific
research
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 is often driven to live an improved lifestyle. Specifically, many significant technological innovations
such
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 as automobiles,
fertilizers
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fertilisers
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 and
vacinnes
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vaccines
 are achieved for a more desirable life
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as efficient transportation, food security and disease prevention.
These
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This
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 scientific progress can be justified because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 greatly
elevate
Correct subject-verb agreement
elevates
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people’s
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 living standards.
Nevertheless
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,
although
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 it is understandable that
science
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 often aims to lead a more comfortable and
cozy
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cosy
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 life, we should
also
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 address environmental
sustainabiltiy
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sustainability
 to ensure long-term
properity
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prosperity
.
Actually
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Actually,
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 modern
science
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 tends to have a dual focus on achieving convenience and investing in
sustainabiltiy
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sustainability
.
For example
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, more funds are put into
researches
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research
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 on renewable and clean energy
such
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 as wind, nuclear and solar power, which can be interpreted as scientists’ attempt to combat environmental issues
such
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 as carbon footprint from fossil fuel, litter left by careless citizens and toxic pollutants from factories.
Furthermore
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, bad
consequnces
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consequences
 could happen if
science
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 only
focus
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focuses
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 on improvement in
people’s
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 lives. Without proactive measures,
environmetal
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environmental
 problems will eventually undermine
people’s
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 mental and physical well-being.
For example
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, people might suffer from lung disease if the city they live in
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 full of air pollution.
Therefore
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, scientific
research
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 should be encouraged to take sustainable growth into consideration.
To conclude
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, it is short-sighted to exchange sustainable growth for immediate comfort lifestyles. I firmly believe that scientific
research
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 should adopt a dual aim, which includes both enhancement in
people’s
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 standards of living and growth sustainability.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your main argument. Sometimes, the flow of ideas feels a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples for your points. This will help support your arguments better and make them stronger.
overall writing quality
Check for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. They can distract from your overall message.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion at the beginning and stuck to it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main ideas and restates your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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