IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All children should wear a school uniform. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 should be compulsory for all
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that children should be free to choose whatever they want to wear.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement for two reasons why
Use synonyms
uniform
Replace the word
uniformity
show examples
 is a good idea. The first reason why wearing a
school
Use synonyms
uniform
Use synonyms
 is mandatory in
school
Use synonyms
 is equality. By
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend compulsory
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educational centres, no one
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 lack behind and ashamed for not wearing a good dress,
thus
Linking Words
 it creates unification among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
This
Linking Words
 is shown in the Hindustan
time
Fix the agreement mistake
Times
show examples
 newspaper
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 highlights the fact that in
India
Punctuation problem
India,
show examples
 it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
compulsory
rule
Check wording
apply
show examples
to wear a
uniform
Use synonyms
 as it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sign of discipline
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 behave equally with their
class mates
Use the right word
classmates
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of judging them from their social status. Cost is another area of concern.
While
Linking Words
 I concede that
students
Use synonyms
 look beautiful and attractive in
colorful
Use the right word
colourful
show examples
 clothing, I,
however
Linking Words
, feel that some parents may
unable
Verb problem
be unable
show examples
 to buy expensive clothes for their children
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
become
Verb problem
can become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reason
Check wording
source
show examples
 of embarrassment for their children when they do not wear good dresses like their
class mates
Use the right word
classmates
show examples
. Taking an example of those schools where
school
Use synonyms
 dress is not compulsory,
students
Use synonyms
 often face the discrimination problem there, because
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 from their dressing style and sometimes behave partial with them. In short, not only does
uniform
Use synonyms
 create the atmosphere of unity
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
and
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
pester
Correct article usage
the pester
show examples
 of their parents as they do not need to spend a lot of money in order to buy new dresses. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, feel that wearing a
school
Use synonyms
 dress brings numerous positive outcomes.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that states your opinion more directly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
You have clearly stated that you agree with the school uniform idea.
task achievement
Your points about equality and cost are relevant and important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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