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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the process of making chocolate. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the process of making chocolate. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the process of
chocolate
Use synonyms
 production.
Overall
Linking Words
, production consists of 10 stages, starting with
cultivation
Correct article usage
the cultivation
show examples
 of
cacao
Use synonyms
end
Use the right word
and
show examples
 ending with packing the prepared
chocolate
Use synonyms
Initially
Linking Words
,
cacao
Use synonyms
 trees are grown in 5 tropical regions, where
cacao
Use synonyms
 pods are harvested. Following the harvest, the
beans
Use synonyms
 are fermented to enhance the
flavor
Use the right word
flavour
show examples
. After being fermented,
cacao
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
 are dried under the sun for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 days.
Then
Linking Words
 dried
beans
Use synonyms
 are packed into big sacks and transported to
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
 either by lorry or train. In
factory
Correct article usage
a factory
show examples
,
beans
Use synonyms
 are roasted
in
Change preposition
at
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 high temperatures, approximately 350 degrees. Roasted
beans
Use synonyms
 are crushed through
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 machine. Following
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
, outer shells are removed
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
way
Check wording
process
show examples
. In
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 stage, the
beans
Use synonyms
 are
liquifed
Correct your spelling
liquified
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
 is produced. After that,
chocolate
Use synonyms
 liquid
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 formed in specific shapes. Fully prepared chocolates are sold in markets

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chocolate, cacao, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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