IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps show a present layout of an office building and plans for its future redevelopment.

The maps show a present layout of an office building and plans for its future redevelopment.
The maps compare the current layout of an
office
Use synonyms
 building and the future plan of
this
Linking Words
 building. In general, only the storeroom and entrance that are located
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west
side
Use synonyms
 will remain unchanged,
while
Linking Words
 other buildings will be reconstructed, and some of the buildings will be removed from the
office
Use synonyms
. Starting with the present
office
Use synonyms
 structure, there are
two
Use synonyms
 huge grasslands, which are located on the west and south sides of the building.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are three big rooms: a kitchen, a canteen and a storeroom, located on the north
side
Use synonyms
. Under the map, it shows four offices
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the same size.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the building provides
two
Use synonyms
 entrances, one of them for the grass location,
while
Linking Words
 the other for entering the
office
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
WC
Correct article usage
a WC
show examples
 structure, located in the north-east
side
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the second layout,
two
Use synonyms
 grasslands will be removed, and on the west, it is predicted to build an outdoor sitting area, and below it will be another
are
Use the right word
area
show examples
 for sitting, only with three chairs,
while
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 one
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will be built
coffee
Correct article usage
a coffee
show examples
 machine and a meeting area.
WC’s
Check wording
WCs are
show examples
 predicted to relocate next to a machine. Entrance
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south
side
Use synonyms
, forecasted to move to
centre
Correct article usage
the centre
show examples
. Kitchen and canteen forecasted to
remove
Wrong verb form
be removed
show examples
 and
build
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 offices
.
Verb problem
built.
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words office, side, two with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: