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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

what are the Advantages and disadvantages of tourism

The
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry contributes to the top priority of all
governments
Use synonyms
 as it can affect many dimensions
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. Regardless of the money that
tourism
Use synonyms
 brings to a country, there are advantages and disadvantages to it. In fact,
governments
Use synonyms
 must be able to manage it in a sustainable way. One of the most significant positive effects of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is providing job opportunities. They might be directly or indirectly related to the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 transportation and hotel services to farming. Another effect is known as infrastructure investment, in which
governments
Use synonyms
 try to improve the quality of the facilities needed for tourists
as well as
Linking Words
 local people.
In addition
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can negatively affect the economic areas. One of them is called overreliance on
tourism
Use synonyms
. All
governments
Use synonyms
 need to have alternative methods for making money rather than just relying on
tourism
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the
tourism
Use synonyms
 decline, probable result of pandemics, natural disasters, etc
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, overreliance leads to spending too much money in these areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 results in less attention to critical areas
such
Linking Words
 as education and health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as
tourism
Use synonyms
 expands, the demand for buildings
such
Linking Words
 as hotels will increase
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has consequences for wildlife and local people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 they are forced to immigrate. In conclusion, by considering the rapid growth of
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 industry
governors
Punctuation problem
, governors
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 must be educated and be aware of the consequences of
tourism
Use synonyms
. Unless
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 unsustainable management leads to irreversible losses.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main point. Use more examples to explain your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of tourism well.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good for structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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