IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government investment in arts such as music and theater is a wastage of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the debate over whether governments should fund the
arts
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 or
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 public
services
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 has become increasingly relevant.
While
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 some believe that spending on
arts
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such
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 as music and theatre is unnecessary, I strongly disagree. I believe that
although
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 public
services
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 are essential, the
arts
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also
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 play a crucial role in the development and well-being of a society. Admittedly, funding public
services
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such
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 as healthcare, education, and infrastructure is vital. These sectors directly impact citizens' quality of life and economic growth.
For example
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, investing in hospitals and schools ensures that people have access to basic needs and opportunities, which in turn contributes to a more productive and healthy society. In times of crisis,
such
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 as during a pandemic or natural disaster,
prioritizing
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prioritising
show examples
 these
services
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 is undoubtedly justified.
However
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, completely neglecting the
arts
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 in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of public
services
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 would be short-sighted. Art, music, and theatre are not just sources of entertainment—they reflect a nation’s identity, values, and history. Cultural activities can foster creativity, inspire innovation, and even support mental health. Numerous studies have shown that access to the
arts
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 reduces stress and promotes social inclusion, especially among young people and the elderly.
Moreover
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, the
arts
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 contribute economically. In many countries, the creative industry generates billions of dollars annually and provides employment for millions. Cultural tourism,
in particular
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, brings in significant revenue.
For example
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, cities like Paris, London, and New York attract millions of tourists each year not only for their infrastructure but
also
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 for their theatres, museums, and musical performances. By supporting the
arts
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, governments can enhance both cultural prestige and economic prosperity. In conclusion,
although
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 public
services
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 are critical for any society, the importance of the
arts
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 should not be underestimated. A balanced approach that allocates reasonable funding to both sectors is the most effective way to ensure a nation's
overall
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 development and well-being.

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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents your position and covers both sides of the argument well. Keep this balanced view.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed. This can make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your ideas and make them more convincing.
coherence
The introduction provides a clear overview of your argument.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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