nHealth and fitness levels of children and teenagers are declining these days. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statemet/

in
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In
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the present, there
is
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are
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alot
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a lot
of unhealthy habits in our life
, some
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. Some
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people believe that
the the
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apply
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exersie
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exercise
and workout
nesseary
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are necessary
in
the
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apply
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students
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students'
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life
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lives
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especially
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, especially
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in their
shcools
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schools
,
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.
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my
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From my
show examples
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perspective
prespective
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prespective,
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i
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I
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agree
with
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that
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physical education should be compulsory in
school
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schools
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,how ever i will explain my
oipinon
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opinion
and points
of
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in
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this
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essay. in the first hands, the sports education having alot of beneftis things for physical
health
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and mental
health
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, instance the exercise sports support and maintain our body from the chronic
disease
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,
moreover
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make the types of mental
health
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disease
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such
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as depreesion and stress decrease, there study reserch about the relationship between mental
health
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and physical
health
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, poor physical
health
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can lead to mental problems in future, how ever the physical
health
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directly effect the mental
health
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, in other points the exercise can lead the fat student to loss wight, and encourge them to keep going to be fit in the future.
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therefore
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Therefore
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the
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, the
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significat
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significant
point to support student to get high
grade
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grades
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and
development
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develop
show examples
their skills
doing
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is doing
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exercise
especially
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, especially
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in the morning.
in
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In
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scond
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second
hands
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hand
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, the physical education
coures
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course
must be in the
shcool
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school
timetable every
day
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apply
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morning
,
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;
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Linking Words
therefore
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therefore,
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the bad
behaviors
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behaviours
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junk food, watching
tv
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TV
show examples
or
ipad
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iPad
show examples
or
gamss
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games
every
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, every
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day
,
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. However
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Linking Words
however
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however,
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Linking Words
this
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these
show examples
behavoirs
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behaviours
can lead to
the
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apply
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obesity,
hance
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hence
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the obesity can lead to chronic
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disease
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diseases
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such
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as
dabetic
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diabetes
, hypertension,
heart
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and heart
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disease
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.
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this
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This
show examples
stutation
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statute places
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the
parents
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parents'
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resposibility
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responsibility
to protect them from
obestiy
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obesity
and taking them to
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a
show examples
kids
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kids'
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gym after
shcool
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school
in
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In
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conclusion
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conclusion,
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this
Linking Words
stutaion
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status
of the
issuses
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issues
of student
the
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apply
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responsbility
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responsibility
the
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, the
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goverment
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government
should
to
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apply
show examples
support the
shcools
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schools
and
soicty
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society
from the
obestiy
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obesity
problems.
in
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In
show examples
my
Correct your spelling
perspective
prespective
Add a comma
prespective,
show examples
the
exeacise
Correct your spelling
exercise
must be
necssery
Correct your spelling
necessary
in the schools

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs clearer organization. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Work on your sentence structure. Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
content
You have good ideas about the importance of physical education.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion restates your main point clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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